My Aunt Is Hot

This weekend was awesome. I’m still reeling from the sheer greatness of it. If I had to equate it to something tangible, rather than just poorly used adjectives, I’d say it was like a punch in the face. But not the kind where you fall over and hold your jaw type of deal. The good kind. (What the hellllll?) So, from the get go, it was good. On Friday night, I came home, and found my driving sunglasses. As I was walking in to my house, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror with them on. God damn, I looked dangerous. For this reason, I have deemed them my multi-purpose bad ass sun glasses. I might even be wearing them now. …I refuse to give a solid answer on that one. I also may refuse to turn on the lights. Muhahaha. I just hope that federal agents (with guns) bust into my room and catch me sitting here, in the dark, maybe wearing sunglasses looking badass. That’s how I want to be hauled off to jail: Looking badass.

Saturday, I slept … all day. I woke up just in time to go computer shopping with a fellow running for town council. He’s running of the more engaging people I work for, as he has interesting (read: conservative) views on foreign policy. It was good, but for some reason he felt compelled to drive to nutley to get this computer. To me, it’s all the same, since I’m getting paid. Nutley just seems so far… and for christ sake, It’s named Nutley. I’m sure their is a kid out there somewhere named Nutley, and it’s for him I feel the most sorry.

Saturday evening was mostly spent looking for liquor. I went to four different places with Andy. Since college started, everyone is carding now more than ever. It was the final place, Irvington House of Liquor that turned up fruitful. What a spectacular establishment. Shady as hell, and in a scary ass part of town. It turned out fine though. From there, I basically went to Amy’s house for a small pseudo, ‘let’s have people over that over all the time anyway and call it a party’ type of deal. It was quality. Among the people making appearances included Brian, Mike, Ashley, Amy (Obviously), and lots of other people. It was a good party. I was a designated driver, so, I didn’t partake of any of the drinking festivities, but I wish I had. Jorge` taught everyone this awesome drinking game where you make a tower of cups and throw coins etc. It was awesome. I even got help engineer this elaborate cup tower. (That I am proud to say did not fall over). As soon as the party burst into a sing along, Molly called. (Be-U-tiful timing)

I dropped Jorge` off. And went to get Molly. Her parents were in between places, so it was cool for her to be going out at 11:30 at night. We went to star watch at this school in Millburn. It was quality, though everything you could ever hope to sit down on was soaking wet. That was the highlight of this awesome weekend. The ‘knock out’ punch so to speak. I totally didn’t feel school tugging at my pant leg, like, “Josh, your not enjoying this really peaceful moment because you know that 30 hours from now, You’ll be sitting in your first period class.” It was amazing.

Then Sunday, I accidentally overslept again. I really need an alarm clock that works well, and loud. Like one that even when I tell it to snooze, It would just beep louder. I’ll put that on my ‘To invent’ list. The list grows longer and longer everyday unforunately. I’ll file that right behind ejection seat for cars … and right before self clicking deodorant. So, after I took care of some very neccesary errands, I came home and went to ‘breakfast’ with mick. We went to bagel as usual. After that I went to fix his computer. It took like 10 minutes, and even though I had every intention to stay and chill, I had to get my stupid ass car home. I miss my car.

My brother has been begging me all week to take him to the airplane club. So went up there and had a grand old time. He crashed his favorite plane hardcore, but he still had an awesome time. I did too. Airplanes are great.

We came home to a great dinner. It was weird soup and bbq chicken. They didn’t look like they go together very well, but they were collectively good. I frittered away the night online. I may have to start going out on school nights. If I were home by 11, What would be the big deal. It’s 1:00 in the morning right now and I am just sitting around. If I went out I would be super tired. It would work out better than if I stay home. I almost don’t want to go to sleep. Doing so would entail ending this awesome weekend.

It was simply brilliant.

-Josh

Firstly, I want to point out I can re-arrange the title to spell The Parboil Tab Let Slit. That out of the way, karma is a beautiful thing. I wrote a small paper this summer about practical applications of Karma for the atheist. Whatever the case, all of this good doing business I have been doing is coming back to help me out. For example, I got in line today to sign up for a gym class (Something I was not going to do) and I sign up, and then as soon as I walk out of the line, they say: “We would just like people with last names A-K signing up now” God bless America. Well, Let me start at the begining. I woke up this morning at 6:30. To a daytime sleeper like myself, that’s bedtime. I was untired though. A quick shower, and I was off. I took the car to town. I pulled right into one of the good spots. The chateau was empty, and I sat and had a most enjoyable breakfast. I <3 The #1. It will always be #1 on my list. After a lovely drive to school, I sat in the parking lot and listened to Howard Stern for a few minutes. I’m not a huge fan because my Ex-Aunt loves to skank it up on his show, but whatever, it’s something to entertain the brain in the morning.

Then I went to school. Then, School was over. (I’m not letting school control me anymore)

I went with Jorge` to play Soul Caliber 2 with Ashley and her broken ass nintendo game cube. Just a small note, I really would like to send an angry letter to the game designers. Their boob physics is some of the shoddiest I have seen. In my opinion, making boobs jiggle in games loses it’s value. You know, no matter how hard you try, no matter what you do, You are never ever going to see that boob naked. That boob is nippless. In fact, the very idea that it’s a boob is only in your mind. Their is no boob.

Soul Caliber can tire one out very quickly. (Losing really takes it out of me) I went home, greeted the perrito and family. Then I decided, what the fuck, I need a haircut. I decided too much hair is bad. So, I told the guy (my guy) Phil to make it short. He asked me what number I wanted. I said … 3 sounds about right, fully not knowing what the hell a 3 was. It’s drastic. It’s more than drastic. Right now, I look like a budding member of the KGB. In essence, I am one number away from having swastikas and burning crosses on me, and yelling “White Power!” at innapropriate moments. The best comment about the change was from Jorge`, “I … liked it better before.”

For the remainder of the afternoon I spent doing tech support calls. …I was not successful at fixing a single on of them. It doesn’t even bother me. Normally, this would drive me nuts. Not today. I let it … just be. This is the first time I haven’t let work stress carry over into other facets of life. Be it sitting around, or in the car. I simply wasn’t worried. (Read: I don’t give a fuck)

Molly called and informed me we were watching “Run Lola Run” in just a few minutes. Though the movie was in German, it wasn’t bad. I really liked it. I thought the girls in the movie were … to put this delicately … ugly bitches. But nonetheless, their were some thematic elements I really liked. I saw some similiarities to the Matrix that I liked. Also, the sound track is ridiculous good. (That’s like good, but better) It’s very euro-centric. I love anything -centric I suppose …. except cons. Those + centric + circles are bad.

On the way home from Molly’s house, this van is behind me. My spider sense was telling me something was up. Suddenly, I felt a vibrating in my pants. It was Ashley calling to tell me that the car tailgating me, was in fact her. She was with Megan MacPhee. They were on their way to see Anne. I was on my way to see Hunter and Andy. After a brief chatsky (I can say things like that now, I’m in the KGB comrade) with them I went to see Hunter. Where craziness ensued the rest of the night. (Read: 711 + Swings)

I can safely say this is one of the most awesome days I’ve had in a long time. Plus … Mac OS X might be one of the sexiest operating systems ever developed and I have the privledge to be the administrator for the Newspaper. Shwing!

KRock keeps playing my songs. I wore two different socks, and both were comfortable. I will get out at 12:00 one day a week with my Lab scam. I feel fantastic. Finally things have stopped falling on me, and falling into place. I wish I could put this day in a bottle for a day when I know I will be bummered like hell about something stupid like school. Then I could just be like, oh look, 2003, September Chardonay. That was a good year!
*Pop*

-Josh

Well, School started today. I am now a Senior. Apart of the class of ‘04′ …. It’s obnoxious. The whole school thing is obnoxious. Their have been some noteable changes in my school. I don’t like one of them. My favorite: Now, The ‘administration’ has deemed being able to exit out of the front entrance an upperclassmen privledge. I for one, Could care less. In my humble opinion, If you are not taking the morst direct, most efficient, fastest, route to get OUT OF THE SCHOOL, You sir, are a fucking idiot. (I just set the world record for most comma’s in a sentence)

Admittedly, I have an awesome schedule. Three days a week, I haul myself out of school at 1:00pm. The other two, 2:00pm. The downside is that I don’t have a lunch. I really don’t care, as lunch is for suckers. Even with this awesome schedule, I feel like the school day is going to be ridiculously long. I felt it today, and we only had 38 minutes periods. When gym came around, and they had us just sitting there, I did something I swear I absolutely positively would not do. I cut like a disturbed twelve year old. It was like this other Josh came over me, and took me out the nearest exit. I mean, I tried, I really did. I chatted with Carolyn, with Joanna, with Buda. They all left to get on this big ass line to get a locker. I …. was going to stand in no such line. Next thing I know, I’m at Blimpies buying cookies. I must have blacked out and started doing bad things. Though, the bad things ended up being good. In front of me at Blimpie was Molly! It was a most excellent suprise. A most needed surpise. School sucks.

After school, I sat around in the computer lab doing bitch work for the newspaper. The school dosen’t know it yet, but by the end of the year I intend to have total and complete ownership of their entire network. It’s weird describing things in terms of school. After, before, during. My writing felt so much better when I wasn’t constantly referencing things to the shittiest place in the world: Columbia High School in Maplewood New Jersey. (Sorry to be so detailed, but that will pop up in google, and people looking for maplewood can check out my blog)

I was so excited to drive to school and park in the senior lot lately. Unfortunately, as I am driving my car home yesterday from AAMCO I notice that the engine is overheating. As I take it to the gas station to get it fixed this skkkettchhhyyyy guy stops the Optimum Cablevision van he is driving and starts with this really sketchy thing. He was like “Yo, Could I ask you a question?” I was like, …You’re past the point of asking now. So he is like, word word, Some people just freak out round here. Then he shows me his hands, he’s like, word man, im just drinking a beer, I’ll put it down. Drinking and driving, What a fabulous duo. Then he starts telling me about he does wiring etc etc etc. He’s babbling on and on. Anyway, I gave him a card. I figured what the hell, maybe he needs some computer work done. Scary guy. Now I’m kind of worried he’s going to show up at my house one day. Obviously, I’m not super worried, but you know, drunk scary guys. Whatever.

I just got back from picking up my NEWLY fixed car. It runs, it doesn’t overheat, It has a working transmission. Just in time for school.

I’m chewing on ice cubes but still my mind is still on fire. It’s a fast burn.

-Josh