My Aunt Is Hot

It’s 2:00am and I JUST finished my spanish midterm. It’s due in 11 hours. It was sooo stupid. It was a Flash Animation that was 5 minutes long with poor dubbing and poor quality. … If it get’s anything less than an A, I’m going to throw a shit fit. It’s a matter of principle now. Since … regaurdless what the midterm gets, I still fail.

I saw “The Butterfly Effect” last night. It was really good.

Tomorrow, I have only one midterm, Health. Now, I think if I can pass this midterm, I can pass anything. After all, Where else can you be quizzed on such valuable information as avoiding VD.

Also, I went to the “Special Dance Sleepover” this weekend. It was a huge party, with like 400 people. It was really good. I don’t recall all that much, but it was really good. I danced. A lot. A lottttttt. More than I usually dance (very little). (Secretyl, I had A LOT of fun dancing. Sooo much fun) Really, the most vivid memory of the weekend I have is sitting on her couch in the basement, with an empty bag of potato chips, at 5:30am deciding whether or not I was going to be sick. (I ate a large majority of said bag, and had a couple( …. ) of drinks.) I decided not. I never would have slept over if it weren’t for Jorge` suggesting it. The J-hey-man scores another one.

They are calling for snow again tonight. Fuck WiNtER!
(Though secrety, I pray for a snow day)

-Josh

Monday nights are so boring. Their is no good television on … well … CSI: Miami, but that’s a cut below the other stuff I usually watch. I’m so bored, I’m sitting here listening to my Police scanner. Their is a lot of screwed up stuff that goes on in our little town. The most memorable one I’ve ever heard was this one where the operator was like, “4-19 We have a report of a man with a gun in a brown paper bag in the vicinity of Dunkin Donuts on Springfield ave, He says he wants to hurt himself or others”

Regaurdless, I still like that dunkin donuts, and it’s brother Blimpie.

I’m really tired of this snow stuff.

-Josh

Failed spanish for the year today. Cuts. Meh.

I don’t feel like myself. Something is missing. Perhaps a passing grade in spanish? Nah. I suspect it’s more than that.
-Josh

I started classes today. Again. It was great. For the first time ever, I managed to have enough will power to go to bed at a reasonable hour. That meant that when I got up this morning, I didn’t feel like I got hit by a freight train.

My communications class is awesome. 500 People who are just as indecisive as I am. Oh yeah, a ton of girls. I think the best part is that they all weren’t short blonds wearing ug boots. I saw lots of tall brunettes. I don’t know why, but I dig those tall emo chicks. So I don’t feel wrong saying, Communications 100: Fuck yeah. If there were ever a reason for me to get up at 7 in the morning, tall nerdy emo chicks is it.

I have two more classes to go to today, and if they are as awesome as the first, I’m in good shape.

Joshua Ziering

Snow day today. It was an excellent turn of events to wake up at 9:36, and instead of worrying about whether I’ll make it to my 9:53 on time, I simply turned over and went back to sleep.

When I finally did get up, I tore through my backlog of Tivo-ed television shows. I watched last nights, “The OC”, a few “Family Guy” episodes, a Seinfeld, and a “Cops” from like 1991. All in all, I COMLETELY wasted the afternoon. Though I did manage to fit in a tuna melt (all time favorite food) and a trip to Wendy’s before darkness set in.

Now, Im going out to pick up chinese food for my family. What a productive day.

-Josh-

(Go Snow Go!)

A small synopsis of my candid life:

# I hate Columbia High School.
# I hate a large percentage of my teachers, at, Columbia High School.
# I feel uncontrollably ill when I am in Columbia High School.
# It’s too cold to even walk to the car.
# I’m kind of sad.

If I thought there was a bomb that could disseminate intelligence, I would set it off right in the 2 floor of the A wing. BOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM …Then people would be smart. People would walk on the right, and go in the right doors, and not bump into you, and not hassle you about the definition of coitus interruptus and realize, that yes, Puppets are gay.

*End Cliche` Blog Entry*

I thought it would show temerity if I tried to show a synopsis of my life … 9 Months from now:

# I love Arizona State University.
# I love my professors, and they make me motivated to work hard for them.
# I have a sun tan, and a non-nerdy pair of sunglasses.
# There is an amazing party scene, and I have fun things to do every weekend.
# I have a tolerable job that provides some sort of satisfaction.
# I have an amazing girlfriend who likes some of the same things I do.
# I have a good idea of what I want my major to be, and what I want to do with myself the next couple of years.
# Everyday is beautiful, and I’ve become a damn good R/C Plane pilot.
# I sleep well.
# I eat well.
# I feel calm.
# I’m happy.

Stranger things have happened.

-Josh

Unjustice runs rampant in our hallways. Take for example, A tall lanky boy in dire need of a green slip. Now, this isn’t just any REGULAR green slip. My very graduation DEPENDS on this green slip. Apparently my Health Teacher, Nancy Ettinger, got smart to me sleeping through school and not showing her my green slips. (Quite the scam, I know.) I wrote … errr My parents wrote a note exhonerating me of these so called ‘abscences’ and I thought I would be good. Afterall, I receive the same call to my house day after day….

“Your *Twelth* grade *MALE* is absent from school today, Please contact the Deans office to rectify…”

I was shocked to find that my note was of little use. The office required a call from my parents. So this morning, over a leisurely breakfast at The Bagel Chateau, I called that guidance office. I spoke with authority, and I had them believing that their was some sort of clerical error. I had it in the bag.

Well, I thought I had it bagged until I went in there to pick up my precious. The lady behind the green slip counter, Who I even said “Bless you” too when no one else did, is evil. I don’t even believe people need blessing when they sneeze, and I totally told her that she should be blessed. But I digress… She told me that even though I had a note and a phone call asserting my absence, They did not have me recorded as absent that day. I reminded her of the phone call I so dutifully receive every day and she went into a ten minute shpeal about how I should attend second period. … I have some things I’d like that … Fabulous lady … to attend to. Regaurdless, They had me recorded as absent on the 12th, and 10th … The days that are on either side of the day I really need. She agreed to give me a slip for the 19th and the twelth. Angrily, I begin to storm out after she informs me the teacher is under no obligation to take my green slip, and that because I have such a gem, I would have to pay for it with 6 hours of detention because I was past the Green Slip Grace Period. In line behind me was Ashley, So I decided to angrily wait around for her to get her green slip.

OH! What do you know!? She needs a slip for the same days I do. She was in the EXACT SAME SITUATION I WAS. And do you know what this lady did? She gave her a slip for the 11th!! I needed a slip for the 11th! SHE EVEN SAW ME STANDING THERE. And I swear as much as I am sitting here right now that SHE GAVE ME THE EVIL EYE.

Well, I’m not done with them. I avoided crisis by getting one legitimate absence out of the way, I’m not going to fail health. I just need to pass English, and pass health, And I can get off this sinking vessel.

Tragedy is the mother of invention.

-Josh

News travels. Apparently big cups of soda have a vengeful side. I was eating a late dinner at a one Taco Bell on Morris Ave. Since Harry and Josh had their trays perpendicular to the table, I had to leave my tray tetering off of the lip of the table. At some point in the conversation, I had a revelation and it required me leaning in closer so as not to tip off people sitting in the other tables. At this juncture, the drink, realizing my weakness, sprung forward from the tray and struck me…

A man, A plan …. One Morbidly obese cup of soda ….

A recent trip to Wendy’s found me eating a homestyle chicken strips value meal. I accidentally agreed to a practice called ‘Value Sizing’ Apparently, since this is America, Value = GIGANTIC. They gave me a bucket of Cola. …Coca Cola for that matter. Now, I know Wendy’s has free refills, But why would I ever need such a thing?

Realizing that this MASSIVE Volume of soda would go to waste if I didn’t drink it, I set to work. It took a little over a half hour, and it was not easy. But, I’m proud to say, Yes, I conquered the monster. The world is once again safe.

All in all, a good way to end an EXCELLENT Vacation. (See below)

-Josh Ziering-