My Aunt Is Hot

February 22, 2004

JZ Meets DMX

I went back to the WRAM Airplane show today. I managed to ask if I could write an article for a well known airplane magazine on Friday, They guy said I could. So I went back today to see what I could do. On the way out, I see this guy walk in with his family. The only reason I noticed him is because he was carrying a HUGE helicopter. I said to Jorge, who knows nothing about rap or hip-hop, Is that DMX? I then notice the HUGE diamond earing he is wearing. So I follow him a little bit debating whether I wanted to be that token white guy …. I decided yes. If nothing else, for sheer entertainment value. “Hey X, Could I get a picture?” He was polite, and very cool. I was excited cause … It’s not every day you meet a bad ass gangster rapper.

Josh Ziering Meets DMX

-Josh

February 20, 2004

Disaster Strikes, Luck Prevails.

Filed under: High School, R/C Planes — Josh @ 12:00 am

It’s sad how ironic things can be sometimes. After working most of the day today, The guy I’m working for very awesomely let me leave to take the last half hour of good sunlight and go flying. Recently, I’ve been flying a pattern plane called the “Flashback.” Pattern planes are designed for speed and momentum. This thing is only 3 feet in wingspan, but it MOVES. We go flying again, at Ritzer Field. The flight was amazing. This plane moves about 45-50MPH at full speed. My favorite is a high speed rolling dive into a flat run pretty low to the ground. The other favorite is getting the plane to full speed, and flying it inverted.

Unfortunately, Today was pretty windy. Since this plane moves really nicely, It rarely has a problem with wind. I had about 10 or 15 minutes of good flying when I decided to throw in the towel and take a break. I setup a beautiful final approach and as I am setting up on ’short final’ (The last part of the landing pattern, the plane enters a glide, and is on track with the runway) I got hit with some wind sheer. Normally, this isn’t a problem. However, because the plane was moving somewhat slowly and didn’t have the speed it normally does, It got blown into a tree. Unscathed, It sat perched up there. I sent my brother to the car for anything to throw up there and get it. It’s sad. At this point, I knew the plane was a total loss. I figured even if I get it down, theirs no way it’ll survive the fall. Eventually, after hammering it with a rubber band ball, we get it to the lower branches. Suddenly the wind picks up, and I see that it’s going to fall. I hand the transmitter to my brother and start to run for it. I was too late though. CRUNCH. Shit. I really liked this plane. It flew so … accurate. I suppose I’m lucky though, I got all the electronics inside it back. I think me and this plane just weren’t meant to be.

On the way to the car, I notice the gym is fully lit and no one is inside. I point this out to my brother, and like a trapped squirrel he starts trying to get in every door possible. Eventually, He got one open. So, we flew his airplane in the gym for a while. Solid flying. Unfortunately … He let me have a turn. I was flying, and flying SEXILY, when I tried to catch the thing. Needless to say, I missed. CRUNCH. Again. Shit. He was pretty pissed. It was a quick fix. Now that he knows we can fly in the gym, he’s over it.

Now, for real life. I watched ER tonight with Ashley. It was pretty good. I like hyperbarric chambers. I think they are interesting. My secret hope though was that instead of being scared to death of the chamber as illustrated in the episode, was that somehow she got trapped in one and it was compressing her. That would have been more interesting. Potentially more gruesome, but more interesting. After ER, we went to Wendy’s …again. It was more like a snack though. I just got chicken nuggets and a drink. I’ve decided that when they make year books that aren’t lame, I’ll win for “Most likely to die of heart disease or morbid obesity” I’ll certainly wear the honor proudly.

Tomorrow, Will probably bring me to White Plains, New York for the annual WRAM (www.wram.org) show. At some point I’ll be working, and at night, I’ll probably (hopefully) be going to a drag ball. For those that don’t know, that’s where you dress up like a woman. … and your date dresses up like a guy. Unless your gay, in which case you go as a lesbian couple. …Which I suppose has it’s appeal. I’ll be sure to curb my enthusiasm if I see two chicks making out though.

-Josh

February 19, 2004

Marissa, You Bitch.

Filed under: High School — Josh @ 4:00 pm

Firstly, I’d like to outline my utter contempt for Marissa, on the hit television show, “The OC” In the words of wise and noble comic book man from The Simpsons, “Worst Character Ever”

That said. Vacation is soo good when you can enjoy it. I slept soundly until almost 3 … pm today. Unfotunately, I, for the first time in a long, had nightmares. These weren’t like the kind of nightmares where one gets eaten by a giant spider though. Take every stress and thing in your life that makes you uncomfortable, and have it coincide. For example: Your involved in a car accident, wrecking your car but leaving you unscathed. Then, you stumble home in tattered clothes. The VERY clothes you just washed. Then, You fall asleep, You awake for school only to find out “Oh No! Im late.” Then, the teacher who’s class you haven’t gone to for the past week accosts you on your way to lunch. Only to tell you that while you’ve been out, he’s been watching this dude move in on the girl you like, and that if you were there, he was going to tell you. Since you’ve been kind of flaky on everything else, you’ve flaked on the musical. Suddenly though, the show is tomorrow, You know nothing, and it’s a packed house. You’re torn whether to continue or bitch out.

That wasn’t quite my dream. My dream was more dire than that. However that’s the gist. It was like a crescendo of crisis.

I think it may have been because of this stupid movie I saw last night. Last night, I went with Magda to see “Along Came Polly.” The movie really was not that good. It seemed like they stole a lot of the really good thematic elements from movies like “Dumb and Dumber” and “The Water Boy” It certainly didn’t feel like a Ben Stiller movie. My thought is that perhaps it was first written with Adam Sandler or Jim Carry in mind. It was a good night. Since I have anorexia …. errr … Since I can’t eat cause of my mouth, I was SUPER DUPER ULTRA HUNGEE after the movie. Wendy’s (big suprise) was on the menu. As usual, I have yet to be unhappy with the late night drive through. They have such an array of food for stupid people like myself, it’s mind boggling. It made for a good night, even though the movie, was not good.

Mountain Models Flash Back In Knife Edge

Above: My rebuilt FlashBack tearing down the field in Knife Edge flight.

Today, Once I finally got going, It was good. I had my brother charge my airplane batteries for me, and we went flying. The park was full of muddy people playing football, so we had to go to Ritzer field, at Columbia. I never like to fly there because of that freaking tight rope that goes across it. We made do anyhow, their were no collisions.

Finally, Tonight I went to watch a new “The OC” with Ashley. As usual, The OC never fails to bring forth a slurry of emotions from me. I think if I could get my wild emotional state under control, I’d be a much better person. Until that time, here’s to instability. Cheers.

February 14, 2004

Oh My Damn… Dude, Where’s My Wisdom?

Filed under: High School — Josh @ 6:58 pm

Having stuff pulled out of your head SCREWS YOU UP. Well, It hasn’t been THAT bad. The actual operation or ‘procedure’ as I’ve come to call it, was soo easy. They just sort of made me a zombie. It was quite the amazing thing. I don’t even remember what it is they did past “This will probably hurt a little bit” I don’t remember what they were referring to, but it didn’t really hurt.

Right now though, I’m sooo hunggeeeee. The worst part is not being able to eat. I’ve been eating soup and mashed potatos sprinkled in between with spells of nausea. I think it’s from the Percosset, which is a ridiculous pain killer. It’s like pot. It’s crazy.

I think the conclusion here is that, Doctor Faulk is awesome. If you need a doctor to cut your mouth up and expertly put you back together, He’s the proverbial man. Not only that, but he’s personable. I had a dentist once who was running some sort of dentist chop shop. It was terrible. But I digress, Dr. Faulk, Livingston New Jersey, Awesome at what he does. (You’d think it’d be harder to write good things about someone who cuts you up and yanks stuff out of you.) Im feeling kind of sick right now though, gotta bounce. Having stuff pulled out of your head SCREWS YOU UP. Well, It hasn’t been THAT bad. The actual operation or ‘procedure’ as I’ve come to call it, was soo easy. They just sort of made me a zombie. It was quite the amazing thing. I don’t even remember what it is they did past “This will probably hurt a little bit” I don’t remember what they were referring to, but it didn’t really hurt.

Right now though, I’m sooo hunggeeeee. The worst part is not being able to eat. I’ve been eating soup and mashed potatos sprinkled in between with spells of nausea. I think it’s from the Percosset, which is a ridiculous pain killer. It’s like pot. It’s crazy.

I think the conclusion here is that, Doctor Faulk is awesome. If you need a doctor to cut your mouth up and expertly put you back together, He’s the proverbial man. Not only that, but he’s personable. I had a dentist once who was running some sort of dentist chop shop. It was terrible. But I digress, Dr. Faulk, Livingston New Jersey, Awesome at what he does. (You’d think it’d be harder to write good things about someone who cuts you up and yanks stuff out of you.) Im feeling kind of sick right now though, gotta bounce.

February 12, 2004

Another week away…My greatest fear. I need the smell of summer. I need it’s noises in my ear.

Filed under: High School — Josh @ 12:00 am

I didn’t go to school today. I was far too tired. I figured since I won’t be going to school tomorrow either, What’s the big deal? Tomorrow, to kick off my fabulous vacation; they are carting me off to an oral surgeon to have my wisdom teeth pulled out. I don’t really know what this will be like, but I have an indication it will be pretty bad by the amount of anathesia they want to give me. Mmmm Full body buzz. My guy suggested I go with Nitrous mixed with pure oxygen in conjunction with an IV drip of a sedative/anasthetic, all culminating with a shot of pain killers. I have an inclination this is going to suck. Worse, being the wonderous scheduler my Mom is, she scheduled it so I only miss Friday classes. I would have much preferred an obscure Monday in March. …Also not onFriday the 13th.

Speaking of superstition and drama, Fox aired another awesome “The OC” last night. I didn’t get to watch it live because I was hanging out with this girl from Montclaire, named Lia. She … does not watch the OC. It’s ok though, she’s from a different town. They don’t have the same standards and likes as we do here in Maplewood and South Orange. I watched it after it already aired, without commercials, and I was still impressed. (Usually not watching something live kind of kills it for me.)

On another facet of watching stuff, We have been watching the “Art Nouveau” version of “Titus Andronicus” in English class. It has Anthony hopkins in it. It’s kind of cool. At first, I was like, this is going to be totally lame because they didn’t have all this crazy crap in Shakespeare’s time. Much to my dismay, It’s awesome. They play video games, ride motorcycles, and play pool. It’s interest to me is compounded by the fact that it’s shown through Young Lucius’ eyes, a small boy. It’s awesome. Unfortunately we’re only watching selected parts. It may be worth renting.

Favortie Character? Tamora. - “The worse to her, The more loved of me!”

-Josh

February 8, 2004

Jorge’s Birthday

Filed under: High School — Josh @ 4:00 pm

Wednesday, Was Jorge’s birthday. Being the man of cunning that I am, I helped plan a suprise party for him. The plot was simple, collect a bunch of people, get him out of the house, get the people into the house, and bring him back to the house. Though, nothing in life is simple. People cancelled, people couldn’t come, people had other plans, etc etc etc. However, it all came together in one unexpected party. I made sure to barely acknowledge his birthday during the week so it would be an even bigger suprise.

Jorge Surprised

After Jorge’s suprise party, we went to Ben’s Birthday Party hosted by Hope in Montclaire. That party was crazy. It was just crazy. We celebrate by giving Jorge a cake, they celebrate by trying to fit Ben in an extroadinarily small closet against his will:

Ben Herman in the Closet

I’m happy to be a Maplewood Kid a little bit right now.

Our Cruising Altitude Today: Not Quite As High As Heaven. Airline Pilots Pushing Religion.

Filed under: Personal Rantings — Josh @ 12:00 am

A commentary in response to this CNN Story.

Throughout time, few things have caused people to do good, more than religion. Living by a code has long brought satisfaction, and self worth to people who couldn’t derive worth from fellow man alone. It was the introduction of a higher power, God, that let people find meaning in their lives.

Human existence, as we know it today, has always been a survival of the fittest. Today, this phenomenon is seen as the “superiority complex.” By asserting oneself better than a fellow person, one is able to write off any social threat posed by them. In this day in age, threats rarely come in the confrontational form, rather, as a challenge to one’s status.

One of the better facets of America, and part of it’s success, is the personal definition of self. Instead of one’s notion of ’self’ coming [mandatorily] from society, or from the state, everyone posesses the option to define themselves as they wish.

In history, when the idea of “self” is threatened, terrible things have happened. Take for a cliche` example, a pre-Hitler Germany. Most Germans defined themselves as a strong people. When they lost World War 1 and had reparations taken on them, the sense of self was threatened. It was in this weekened state Hitler took his hold on the German people.

In a similiar fashion, being differentiated from the group is just as serious an attack as a defeat to national pride. As in the story, both groups of people were equally threatened. Primarily, the pilot created an atmosphere of difference between the passengers. In addition, he suggested that every Christian aboard would like to convert people. The closest parralell this author could draw would be football fans. It’s generally understood that recruiting fans for the ‘home team’ is frowned upon. However friendly conversations can be had with the understanding both people are happy at their current camps, and they aren’t interested in switching The common element is everyone likes football.

In conclusion, the pilot here put everyone’s worth in jeopardy in an effort to gain converts for his religion. When one really examines the actions, the true motive becomes clear. By converting people, he obviously thinks that his views are right. Since this pilot is better [than others not of his faith], he is able to assert his worth over those not of his faith, justified by the highest power. Because he actively converts people to his faith, he makes himself better than those of his faith who do not. Finally, because he is converting people to his faith, he’s seen as holier in God’s eyes, since he’s doing His bidding. Obviously, those who are the holiest go to heaven for an eternity of pleasure and leisure. It’s good to see the selfless act of preventing his fellow peers from going to hell done for all the right reasons.

Just remember, everyone likes football.

February 5, 2004

Good Karma

Filed under: High School — Josh @ 12:00 am

So, I’ve been furiously working on this silly site. You’ll find a project up and documented, some pages about me, some pages about my friends, and some pages about my relatives. All in all, I think it’s come along pretty nicely.

I had somewhat less than an awesome night. As I was driving to Ashley’s house to watch a brand new ER, I see this motorcyclist. My very first thought was, “Wow, He’s going kind of fast.” The very next instant, this guy wiped out hard. His bike basically just went out from under him. I stopped my car, Not wanting to accidentally run him over or something, and called 911. I figured, If this guy is bleeding out of his ears, their isn’t much I can do for him, let me call people who know. So I told the 911 operator where he wiped out. I hesitated a minute to see if this guy would get back up, but I didn’t see anyone move. After I called and they told me they were sending people, I got out and asked if this guy was OK. Miraculously, he was. He was kind of laying in a pile of snow. He got up and brushed himself off. I told him I called the cops in case he needed help. He said thanks. His bike was really big, more like a cruising bike than a speed bike. I helped him get it back on two wheels, though I don’t think he’ll be driving it for a while. It looked kind of messed up. The bike was heavy as hell, I had a hard time getting it back up. Once I saw the flashing lights, I skiddaddled. Cops make me uncomfortable anyway. The sad part about this is that I still kind of want to ride a motorcycle.