My Aunt Is Hot

Having older friends is sometimes really cool. Yesterday, I flew (crashed) airplanes all day. As it got dark, I went to the bar with the hobby shop guys. Apparently I wasn’t allowed in after 8, but one guy managed to talk with the waitress and get her to not mind. Then she brought me a frosted mug too, so that I could chill my ‘apple juice’. It was pretty cool.

It just further proves my point, that people who work in restaraunts, or behind the counter anywhere; owe you nothing. I can’t stand people who are rude to waitresses, or are assholes to the guy behind the counter at the Quickie Mart. It’s just uncalled for. In cases like last night, it made all the difference. It was pretty cool to have a couple brews with the boys, play some pool, and sit around. I was going to go home and go to sleep. I was really happy to have some place to go, and people to be with, much less homies to hang with.

The bar was kind of an interesting scene. I was clearly the youngest person there, but it was just an interesting place. All the people working there besides the one wearing costumes were wearing shirts that said ‘the wet spot’. I thought that was kind of amusing. I got a cool glow in the dark Corona Button from one of them. A lot of people there were in costume. You could tell which ones were in college, they had the raunchiest costumes. Their were a couple of doctors, a ladybug, some fairies, and a couple of people in fatigues.

After the bar, I went with them to a kegger. I was going to move in with the people throwing the kegger, and now I am kind of sorry I didn’t. The guy I was trying to avoid by moving in there managed to behave himself around regular people. Apparently, he does have a civil side. Whatever the case, it’s too late to dwell on that. That was the theme, because as we were showing up, all of the hot, scantily clad girls were leaving. Their were no other girls at the party. Apparently in college, a costume is defined as “A lack of clothing”, and you can dress ‘up’ in flesh.

Whatever the case, It was a good night. I also learned about a new kind of party. The variant I heard was called purple jesus where someone pours a ton of grape juice in a tub, and everyone brings liquor to pour in. After you drink it you apparently see jesus. I think it’d be a neat to go to a black jesus party. Basically, someone mixes up a huge batch of brownies, and everyone brings something to put in. I don’t know about seeing heaven or what have you, but I think it’d end up being a pretty high time.

Joshua Ziering

I overslept this morning, and managed to wake up at 12pm. 12PM is when my all time favorite band, Jimmy Eat World, was to start signing autographs at the record store on campus. Figuring I already missed my opportunity, I just kind of got ready for class, and went about my business. I put my Jimmy CD in my bag, figuring I’m an hour early for class, I’ll walk by the place and see if they’re still there.

They were. I jumped in a suprisingly small line, and waited. It only took about 5 minutes to get up to the band. Their were some really cute girls in line that I was too scared to talk to. I mean, I had an opening line, “Hey you like the same music I do”, and I had them cornered, and I freaking wussed out. Sometimes I’m not suprised the guys on my floor suspect me of playing for the other team.

Anyhow, I got all four band members to sign me Futures CD. It’s awesome. It told them how hard they rocked on monday night, and how awesome it was. They were really nice guys, and you could tell they were there because they wanted to be there. Not because Mr. Execeutive told them it’d help sales.

After that I went to class, in the rain. It’s cold here, 60°, and it’s windy like hell. I didn’t sign up for this. What the hell, this is ARIZONA. I can’t complain, it kind of makes me feel like I am back home.

Joshua Ziering

Tonight, I went to The BrickHouse in Phoenix to see my all time favorite band, Jimmy Eat World. The tickets were free with the pre-order of their new CD, Futures. It took me a while to find the place, and I had to make a pit stop at a really shady Circle K in Phoenix to get money. Phoenix is just a bad city. I mean that in the nicest of way, but it still sucks. In what kind of city can you drive down the street, hell, an AVENUE, at 7 pm, on a monday night, and NOT SEE ANYONE? Restaraunts, Bars, Stores, all there, but sans people. Plus, instead of defaulting to a layout like new york and using streets and avenues, Phoenix had to be patriotic. Phoenix had to name a street after every president. Nothing is as frustrating as trying to figure out which president comes after Taft, and where “Central Ave” intersects it. I’ll leave out the obscenity filled sentence I yelled after finding out Van Buren was one way.

Once I got to the Brickhouse, I found a place to park that was only 5 bucks. Knowing full well what parking can cost in New York, I was super happy with how that went. I stood on a line for a while with a lot of people. It’s weird standing in a line of people alone. Not bad, just weird. After what seemed forever, they let us in. I managed to get a spot up by the stage, just a few feet from the ledge. I’m talking close. Super close. Watch out for sweat close. The band that opened was called Ruben’s Accomplice. They were good, but I was just too amped for Jimmy to enjoy it. They played like 7 songs.

Jimmy came on shortly after. They opened with what is probably my favorite song by them, “Get it faster”. God damn, it was just amazing. I was so close, and it was so loud, and I was so into it. After that, it was just a medley of my favorite songs.They also played some of the songs off of their new album. It was just unbelievable. I’m in Phoenix. I’m at an exclusive Jimmy Eat World Concert. I’m feet from the stage. I always kind of thought I’d go to my first Jimmy in concert with Molly, but that just wasn’t the case. I’m kind of thankful to her that she commandeered my computer and downloaded some of their stuff. She opened me up to a ton of new stuff, but I think of it all, Jimmy was the best. It always brings back really good memories of her when I listen to them. It brings back memories of a better time. I really kind of miss that.

Nevertheless, they played an excellent encore. Unforunately some retards thought it’d be cool to ‘mosh’ during a really slow song. I feel bad saying retard, but not really. When I refer to a person who’s mentally ill, I say challenged. However, these kids, were in fact retards.

The last song they played was “Sweetness”.  I was yelling at the top of my lungs, “If you’re listening…..Whoaaaaa-oooo-ooo-oooo-ooooo”.

On the way out I picked up my advance copy of their new CD. It’s great.

I feel pretty god damn good right now.

Joshua Ziering

So I’ve been looking forward to going to see Jimmy Eat World in concert for sometime. The other day, I saw a sign that said “Pre-order Futures (The New CD) and get to go to an exclusive concert” So I figured, what the hell. I paid 14 dollars, and I got a piece of paper saying that someone owes me a CD, a wristband, and an address. I call the place today to see what times doors open, and apparently it’s not just a concert it’s “Jimmy Eat Worlds Private CD Launch Party” to which they sold some obscenely small amount of tickets. I know that they only had 100 at my school, and the only other place to get them was some record store in Chandler, and you could only get them today. This should prove interesting if nothing else. Pictures will probably follow. (And if it sucks, I get to go see them again this weekend.)

Joshua Ziering

Today, while shoveling Caesar salad into my mouth, I came to a stunning realization: I am a crouton racist. It kind of all hit me at once. Even though at it’s center, every crouton is just a lightly seasoned piece of tasteless, toasted bread, I can’t bring myself to eat the black ones. I stopped to think why I harbored such bread bigotry. Have you ever seen a black loaf of bread? Their is something so unwholesome about eating a salami sandwhich on black bread. That’s about where the thought process stopped, since I finished my caesar salad. I really wish I had some people to eat dinner with. Arizona grows more lonely with each passing day.

Joshua Ziering

Last night, after watching the debates, an impromptu game of stick ball broke out in the hallway. Everyone playing knew I was from New Jersey. They insisted I come play with them so I could defend my state’s (Though NY is really the stickball capital) claim to stickball fame. So, with a tent pole and a ping pong ball, I thorougly embarassed New Jersey.

Joshua Ziering

I watched the debates tonight. Really, it just furthered my decision to vote Kerry/Edwards. Flew some planes today, worked on some planes today, avoided idiots drawn to my school. It’s hard to think I was just 500 or so meters from two really influential people in the world.

Joshua Ziering

Last night I was really tired from classes and stuff. I knew I had work today, so I didn’t really want to party. I decided I was going to have my own party. So I broke out my .98 cent Lowes screw driver, a lighter, a bag of marshmallows, and a chocolate bar. I decided the Graham Crackers were only so you wouldn’t burn yourself on the smoldering mallow. I was far too hardcore for them. The deli was out anyhow. So, I’m sitting outside my dorm with a screw driver and a chocolate bar lighting marshmallows on fire. It was fulfilling in a personal way. Since coming to college I don’t really eat cookies or candy or any of that stuff that people generally reserve a cabinent for. This was some sort of pent up sugary frustration burning on the end of my screw driver.

As I am sitting there, a guy walks out of the floor above mine. He kind of looks at me fumbling with a lighter covered in mallow, and decides that: “Yes, he’s cool”. Having decided that, he proceeds to do an about face and start peeing off of the third floor flat. As to why he decided the flat was closer than the bathroom, I know not. As to why he decided to deem me cool because I was setting things on fire with a screw driver and a lighter, I know not. While I was watching this graceful stream of pee go off the side of the building, a resident from my floor walks out. He looks to his right and sees the pee. He looks directly at me setting a marshmallow fire, and asks, “Is someone peeing off the flat?” To which I nod affirmatively while I extinguish my marshmallow. He then asks me if I was making a smore with a lighter and a screw driver. I nod yes again, my mouth full of mallow. I half smile at him with my mallow laden teeth. Thoroughly weirded out, he sets off. I smile at myself knowing just how amazing my life can be sometimes.

Joshua Ziering

Their is something beautiful about the little tragedies of life. They happen to us everyday and they go unnoticed. I’m starting to see them now, in full fledged bright light. They happen fast, but they’re something you can feel all day long. Sometimes they’re crimes against nature, other times it’s the spurning of self.

When I walk around, they seek me out. At first they made me feel guilty and low. Now I see them for what they are, beautiful downfalls.

Take for example a bird. He’s eating little berries that fell off a tree. When I walk by him briskly, he runs for his life. And in that instant as I saw this bird waddling away, I thought: “How unnatural.” Only later did it dawn on me how horrible it is to neglect a gift. That bird was blessed with flight. He neglected to use it. So what does this mean for me as an atheist? A student? A person? That bird ran away in spite of all his ancestors, only to spite himself. And when I saw that bird fly back over to his berries, it became clear to me that the only one you hurt is yourself.

Joshua Ziering

This weekend I had an amazing weekend. Friday I went and worked at Hacker, but Sean (My boss) wasn’t there. That kind of sucked because I had no direction, but on the other hand it didn’t. I let my theoretical ADD get the better of me. I did like 20 small projects of just random stuff. Fix this, repair that, work on something over there. The day went pretty quick even though the night before their was some kind of drug bust going on in my dorm, and I got all of 2 hours of sleep. You think the cops would be courteous enough to turn down their fucking radios when they are just feet from a ton of sleeping kids. No such luck. One really annoying thing they do here is call the cops “DPS”. I have no idea what that acronym stands for, but it’s stupid. I can just see some old lady on her porch shaking a broom at some young kids, “You little bastards, I’m calling DPS!”.

Friday night I went and flew my gas airplane, the Funtana .40. I managed to run two tanks of fuel through it before it was too dark to see it. It was a really good night. So as I pack up my airplane stuff, and start to drive home, I get a call from Scott. He invited me to go with him to his hangar to work on his airplane again. Of course I said yes. Airplanes are awesome! Last time, I got to watch him and this other guy work on his plane for the most part. This time it was: “Junior, get under the plane”. So they hoisted the plane up on some kind of stand or something so we could redo the landing gear straps. It was kind of fun actually working on an airplane. I tried not to think about what would happen should the stupid little hoist break. (They assured me it could hold a house or something.)

Instead of driving all the way home, Scott said I could crash on his couch. I jumped at that opportunity after the previous night’s drug dealing escapades. I managed to get a whole 7 hours of uninterrupted, quiet, peaceful sleep. It was just what I needed. I woke up at 10 to 6 on Saturday and went flying. While flying, I had my gas airplane kind of stop working on me. Let me tell you this, when you’re not that high up, and inverted, and the engine quits, it really makes you question your skills as a pilot. I managed to land it though. =)

So, while we were flying, this group of college kids shows up. They are part of the AIAA an aerospace group on campus. They entered a competition where they are building and flying a model plane. They talked to Scott for about a half hour. It’s clear that he’s an amazing teacher. He managed to convey SO MUCH information to these people in a very short time. And it all made sense. After he gave them this model airplane primer, He suggested that they let me join their group and pilot their plane. Sweet. So I made some aerospace nerd friends. I even flew for them a little bit, and I think they were impressed. When I talked to them yesterday they were damn impressed I could hover a plane, and then have the guts to catch it out of the air. Meh..

I spent all day at the Hobby Shop building an airplane for one of the homies. He gave me my gas airplane for free, so I said if he ever needs something built, I’m all over it. I did a pretty good job on the plane, but the problem is this guy crashes stuff left and right. No matter how well built a plane is, they’re built to fly, not to crash!

Sunday night, I went to go fly my Venus which I just shipped down from New Jersey. This plane was my pride and joy. I kind of pioneered a power setup for it, and did a lot of custom work on it. This was going to be the maiden flight with the new power setup, and a lot of new radio gear. Anyhow, the plane flew awesome. However, on landing, I managed to hit a small PVC safety pole with my right wing. … doing about 40mph. The fuselage was decimated, but the wing was just fine. I was freaking pissed. But whatever, Version 3 will be the best yet. You’d think I’d eventually figure out that this airplane and me just weren’t meant to be. Never! The Ironic part was two of the homies were there, and kept ribbing me how it’s built poorly, and will crash. I maintain that if you hit something after you land, it’s an accident, not a crash.

Anyhow, that sucked. Monday Burt Rutan and the guys won the X-Prize. They were the first private venture to get to space twice in one week, and they win 10 million dollars for doing so. I went out to a local airport with a bunch of guys to fly a model of the winning design. The model was realllllyyyyy cool, and it flew really well. While we were messing around, these guys were prepping a plane for it’s first test flight. One of the guys who was there was a professional airshow pilot, and would be doing the first flight. He’s also one of Scott’s really good friends. So he takes off and flies out of sight. Scott non-chalantly asks me if I want to go chase him. …I was like … YES. So we went flying in this small Cherokee airplane. I’d never been in a small plane before, and it was quite possibly the most eye opening experience of my life. I accidentally said something stupid about “Was that a negative G force I felt?” and Scott kind of goes… “No… Watch This…” He guns the engine up to full, pulls 30° up, then suddenly pushes the nose down. Their is something about being glued to your seat belts, with your butt off the seat, being pushed towards the ceiling of the airplane that is unnerving. I shouldn’t have said anything in retrospect. It really freaked me out. The upside was that I even got to take the sticks a little bit and fly the plane. I’m totally hooked. I’m coming home with a pilot’s license.

So yeah, Awesome weekend. I don’t think any weekend ever will top that. When I consider how I could have been getting drunk / getting over a hangover all weekend, and then I consider what I did this weekend, I think more and more that I’m making the right choice by not drinking.

Joshua Ziering